Tony Hart welcomes you to 'The GLC
Gallery - Part VI'
"Razzle-fuckin-dazzle, GLC Gallery-goers! Tony Hart here, back again like the Renegade Master. Big shouts out to all virtual contributors who keep my world a-spinnin', massive safes and words to all of your Mothers. The GLC Gallery has been updated and awaits your urgent attention - it's the most fun I can have with my clothes on. Let the good times roll...."
"Check this out! KunG_FU_MasteR + BiG_DicK of the Moac Supreme Cru have arrived and presented yours truly with this most astouding work. Even the most innocent of characters used within the media circle find themselves corrupted by the Power of the Port and this little fella is no different. 'Could you be the one to lead the GLC to victory? To head the Chain and take us to places no-one else could?', I asked of him. 'Oh no, no, no, no' he muttered, 'but I'm right Bo, I'm telling thee'. Fair play, that lad"
"We seem to be setting a trend here! Corrupting the already twisted minds of youth may seem like a mere 'walk in the ghetto' for the more hardened footsoldiers around, but I always emphasize the importance of teaching the youngsters of today the most effective ways of getting mashed up. MC Bedshit gives us the lowdown as to what the next generation of chain-wearing badboys has to say regarding these matters. The subject of this portrait is well on the way to Safedom - his chillage has already caused a movement within the bowels"
"As new technology grows, we need to adapt to the different mediums of communication available. The piece displayed was caught on webcam from the Master of Disaster, Pushedtempo. Apparently, a course of potent hallucinogens had been prescribed to the artist which may explain monkeys hanging from lamposts, blocks of flats being transformed into seedy 'dens of inequity' and the extra from Grand Theft Auto III about to take the Beemer for a spin. Look closely and you may spot a small child on one of those springy playground rides in the background. In true 'Port Style, he observes the carnage around him with all the apathy and nonchalance of an international playboy. Pushedtempo, I cannot wait to see your visions of the Pill Carnival!"
"So we return with another depiction of the Innocence of Youth. Gypsy children gather in what I can only assume is somewhere near the Gaer, judging by the size of those hills. Vinnie Drop was our correspondent on the scene for this piece. A gallant fellow, he was good enough to lend the kids a Chain and some blow to set the scene, but needless to say he took it all back, once the photoshoot was over. No doubt he shall return with more footage to warm our hearts, stealing from the rich and robbing from the poor. Good show!"
"Tee-hee! D Evans is back on the case with photographic evidence of his most recent elaborate hoax to date. Crowds had gathered in Newport town to welcome Robbie Williams or something and while placards were carelessly left on the floor, Mr. Evans set to work with tipp-ex and marker pen. The results can be seen above. Despite the crowd joining in with the chorus of 'Let Me Entertain You', Mr. Williams was understandably confused by references to 'Him Knowing It', that he should be 'Safe' and the fact that he was 'A Clit'. He will not be returning to Newport City next year. 'Mission Accomplished', Mr. Evans"
