| GOLDIE
LOOKIN CHAIN, UEA LCR, FEBRUARY 23 2005
The words ‘Clart’ and ‘Safe as’
appear on the television screen on stage at UEA’s
LCR and the crowd begins to cheer, this escalates into
screams and laughter as a picture of Burberry-check
Vauxhall ‘Chavalier’ appears on the screen.
They know who is about to come onstage, the Welsh hip-hoppers
‘Goldie Lookin’ Chain’. The ten members
of the group come on stage dressed in typical ‘chav-like’
attire complete with gold chains, adidas tracksuit bottoms
and baseball caps. When they come on stage they immediately
start jumping around, getting the crowd excited for
what is to be an extremely surreal concert.
Goldie Lookin’ Chain seems to be a band you either
love or hate. I was of the opinion that they were an
insult upon my ears but have now moved on to believe
they should just be accepted for what they are; completely
ridiculous. With names such as ‘Mr Loveeggs’,
‘2Hats’ and ‘MC Flatpress’,
it’s no wonder people cannot take this bunch seriously,
but then that is the point of Goldie Lookin Chain. They
dress as if they are about to go to the gym, (which
wouldn’t be a bad thing if this were the case
but sadly it is not) and they rap about exceptionally
random things such as a mother having a penis, short
term memory loss and weed. However, due to the fact
that they are Welsh, mad, and (obviously) piss-takers
you have to love them. You simply need to look past
the fact that they dress terribly and enjoy saying the
phrase “safe as f@%k” a lot, in order to
see them for the comic geniuses that they are.
They start their ‘Road to Rehab’ tour with
‘Newport’ followed by ‘Shit to Me’
in which they rap about how bad they find American Hip-Hop
to be, this gets the crowd jumping enthusiastically.
The crowd then take part in a collective wrist bouncing
action as group member Mystikal steps up to do his song
‘The Alchemist’.
The songs which the audience really seem to love are
‘Your Mother’s got a Penis’, ‘You
Knows I Loves You’ and their 2004 hit ‘Guns
don’t kill people (rappers do)’. They finish
the evening with ‘Your Mother’s Got a Penis’,
which only leave the audience wanting more from these
crazy men from Wales and then shout out enthusiastically
to the crowd that Norwich is “Safe as F@%k”,
which is always nice to hear.
Nicola Kenny
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