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One
of the best things about pop music is the fact that, every time you
write it off as being lost forever amid the flotsam and jetsam of
Fame
Academy, something new and completely preposterous will come along
to restore your faith.
Last year it was The Darkness - and this year,
the mercy mission is seemingly being carried out by nine-piece Newport
hip-hop collective Goldie
Lookin’ Chain.
Essentially, ‘the Chain’ are what you
would get if you took the herberts you get hanging about outside
your local Co-op and told them to form a group. Only far funnier.
And, erm, more Welsh!
Clad in cheap shellsuits, baseball caps and supremely
naff gold jewellery, the Chain are entertaining in pretty much the
same way that MC Pitman, the first coal miner of rap, is entertaining.
With their catchphrase of “You knows it!”,
they are all about hilarious cod b-boy posturing, and they rap about
the things that matter to any
self-respecting valley boy who has ever donned fake Burberry. In
other words – toking weed, shopping trips to Matalan, and,
erm, toking weed!
One of the most entertaining songs though during
this snappy set at Rock City was ‘Self Suicide’, a pithy
look at how numerous rock stars have had record sales go through
the roof after they’ve departed for the ‘great gig in
the sky’.
All the more amusing for its precarious perch on
the cusp of bad taste, the track sees the Chain lampoon stars such
as Michael Hutchence. However, they also draw the line all the way
back to Biblical times!
“Jesus got nailed to some pieces of wood,”
goes one of the killer lines. “2000 years later, book sales
are still good!”
Of course, Goldie Lookin’ Chain, like the
Darkness last year, will probably have worn incredibly thin by the
time the summer is over.
In the meantime though, simply enjoy them for what
they are – and let’s hope that they can ruffle as many
feathers as possible during their moment in the spotlight.
4/5
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