Wakestock interview: Goldie Lookin' Chain 26 July 2004
We interupt the Welsh chav-rappers skinning up back stage to throw an American football about and chat to them about monkeys, gold medallions, and their plans to invent an interactive porn machine!
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Goldie Lookin' Chain are lookin' pretty tired. They've been on a relentless road journey all summer, putting in appearances at Glastonbury, Ibiza and now Wakestock - to name just a few. Several of them are fast asleep in their tour bus, the others are throwing a ball around and smoking spliffs to keep themselves awake prior to their Saturday night headline slot. Taking a breather to skin up another, Adam Hussain, Mike Balls, and Mystikal happily chat to VF, show off their medallions, and invite us to join the band - providing we have 'fags, draw, and rizla' of course. You knows it!
Virtual Festivals: So what brings you to Wakestock. Is it 'cos you is Welsh? M: Well, we heard it's supposed to be a grand concoction of drugs, beer, wakeboarding, and fit young ladies, so it sounded like a laugh. It's also close to Port Merrion, which is where 'The Prisoner' was filmed - a definite bonus. AH: We heard it's the Welsh Glastonbury and there would be lots of mushrooms, so we thought we'd come check 'em out. It's wierd playing festivals 'cos it's like being in Butlins on a tour bus. But being out in the country is safe. It makes me feel like the Beastmaster off TV. I'm feeling the power - I'm at one with the animals and nature, yeh.
VF: Talking of animals, we hear you plan to adopt a monkey. MB: Yeh, we want our own pet monkey. We're going to call it either 9 Bar or Jolene. M: (sings) Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeene. MB: We're going to teach it to make us afternoon tea, skin up, and play top trumps. We'll get it making music and maybe breakdancing as well. M: We haven't worked out what breed of monkey yet, it just has to be a very intelligent ape. An Orang Utang would be nice but it might cause a bit too much damage and our bus driver might not be too chuffed.
VF: How did Goldie Lookin' Chain start out? M: It all started with cherry aid, Space Raider crisps, Tizer, and gobstoppers - basically '80s confectionary. We all came together out of a common love for all things sweet and safe. AH: We wanted to put the meat back into hip-hop and open it up so that anyone can join provided they're safe and not a dickhead.
VF: So can we be in your band then? M: Of course you can. You can both join as long as you've got draw, fags and Rizla. We've got loads of members. Some of them we don't even know their names. MB: I'm not really friends with any of them! M: For gigs like these we just see who's around in Newport at the time, round 'em up, fuck off on the bus, and put something together. We treat new members like one of them old clocks. We try to wind 'em up to the max and then let them go and just see what happens.
