aka hardest man in soccer violence
Mike Balls: sports stats legend and tabloid junkie. Ballsy is the smoking man's Jeremy Paxman!
His urban poetry is a direct result of the influences picked up during his seven-year stint as a barman in Newport's now sadly demised Megabowl, the home of both family entertainment and heroin smuggling. (Note: Ballsy himself was not directly involved in the latter).
Since joining the hip hop elite and touring the world, Mike Balls estimates that he has smoked over 750 ounces of cannabis resin, yet he still has the ability to recite Liverpool FC's entire league results between 1986 and the present day.
Mike harbours a hatred for fresh fruit and vegetables and lives off a diet of pure cane sugar and PG Tips.
Mike also likes dogs but hates cats.
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